


Good Omens: SCP Containment Breach

by Hekateras



Category: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, SCP Foundation
Genre: Crossover, Gen, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-08
Updated: 2012-09-08
Packaged: 2017-11-13 20:27:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 865
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/507410
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hekateras/pseuds/Hekateras
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Item #: SCP-2000</p><p>Object class: Euclid</p><p>By opening this file, you acknowledge that you have the necessary security clearance of level 2 or higher that is required to access this information. Failure to comply with security regulations can be found as basis for punishment up to and including the administration of an amnesiac and termination.</p><p>Warning: Object includes memetic virus component. Viewing of file may not be safe. Proceed at own  risk.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Good Omens: SCP Containment Breach

**Item #:** SCP-2000

 **Object class:** Euclid

 **Special Containment Procedures:** Item SCP-2000 is to be kept in a locked, isolated lead container at all times. No X-Ray or other penetrative surveillance methods are to be applied on SCP-2000. The container is to be opened on a bimonthly basis to ensure that SCP-2000 is still inside. Such check-ups may be administered by no fewer than 3 (three) Class-D personnel, who under no circumstances are allowed to bring a pen, pencil or any other writing implement into a 100 m radius of SCP-2000. Should SCP-2000 not be inside the container, an immediate top-priority sweep of the facility must be performed. All physical and electronic storage spaces are to be thoroughly examined for copies of the material within SCP-2000. When found, such copies and the electronic devices containing them are to be incinerated immediately. Any writings, drawings or audio records of conversations relating to the content of SCP-2000 are to be destroyed. All personnel who have had contact with said material are to be rendered Class A amnesiacs and be relocated to low risk positions and kept under surveillance.

 **Description:** Item SCP-2000 appears to be a book titled 'Good Omens', authored by [EXPUNGED] and [EXPUNGED]. The edition of the book appears differently each time the book is observed by a human. SCP-2000 appears to 'cycle through' various publications and cover artwork at what initially appeared to be a random rate, although the British editions seem particularly favoured, possibly due to being the original language the object was created in. Recent observations suggest a correlation between SCP-2000's chosen appearance and the preferred spoken language of the personnel assigned to the department, the object appearing to attempt to cater to their interests to increase temptation.

SCP-2000 was recovered by Exploration Team [EXPUNGED] in 1997 in the city of [EXPUNGED], England, following reports of anomalous occurrences in local bookstores. Attempts to track the history of SCP-2000 have proven unsuccessful.

Records indicate that SCP-2000's anomalous nature began to show itself as early as the process of its creation. The object was co-written by [EXPUNGED] and [EXPUNGED] over an uncharacteristically short period of 9 weeks, during which the authors were described to have been as if possessed. During the creation process, SCP-2000 is said to have taken on a life of its own, with passages appearing in the book that neither author recalls having written. In the years since its publication in [EXPUNGED], SCP-2000 has amassed a small but disquietingly fanatic and persistent following, which has exploded since the advent of the internet on sites such as [EXPUNGED] and [EXPUNGED]. Various elements of the content have been shown to have religious or Satanic connotations in numerology. Due to its habit of changing its appearance, it is impossible to trace SCP-2000's exact origins to a particular edition or year of publication, though a common hypothesis claims it is the first copy of this book ever printed.

Personnel examining SCP-2000 claim to experience a strong longing to open it; if carrying writing implements, they are sometimes compelled to scribble on the margins. On an approximately monthly basis, SCP-2000 will disappear from its container and spontaneously generate copies of itself, designated SCP-2000-Delta, concealed in lockers, storage spaces and on computers in a radius of up to 4004 meters. Subjects encountering SCP-2000-Delta are reported to find themselves strongly tempted to examine the object and begin reading it while keeping their discovery a secret in spite of prior warnings about the measures necessary in such occurrences. Afflicted subjects have proven to be extremely difficult to distract from reading SCP-2000-Delta, even through physical force. When under observation, they have shown to form an extremely co-dependent relationship with SCP-2000-Delta, turning violent and hysterical when separated from it, and developing an obsessive-compulsive disorder wherein they are not able to stop reading, discussing and creating content (e.g. original prose and drawings) related to SCP-2000.

In such containment breach events, the original SCP-2000 will be found somewhere among its copies, its only distinguishable difference being its apparent indestructibility. All attempts to monitor SCP-2000's behaviour inside the container have caused SCP-2000 to remain in a frozen state while surveillance is ongoing, but act in a much more aggressive manner whenever surveillance is interrupted due to technical issues. A containment breach usually follows immediately, with SCP-2000 generating an order of magnitude more copies of itself than it does otherwise. Due to the high costs of damage reparations following such breach events, surveillance attempts are to be dispensed with entirely.

* * *

 

 **[Data Entry #2003598]** Object shows clear signs of awareness of its surroundings. Manner of escape still not understood; containment breaches appear to be growing more frequent since observation first began. Just how are we keeping it contained, and for how long?  Memetic virus component shows potential for staggering wide-scale consequences. Reassignment to Class Keter advised.

 **[Data Entry #2003666]** Request for reassignment denied. While difficult to contain, object shows no signs of outright malevolence towards humanity. Long-term studies show that obsessive-compulsive behaviour of afflicted subjects becomes milder with time, to the point of being reconcilable with fulfilment of their duties again. As for understanding its nature - why don't you just read the book?

\------------

\- [Secure, Contain & Protect](http://www.scp-wiki.net/about-the-scp-foundation), Record #2000058


End file.
